Knitting and Drama

I have finished the first letter on my illusion scarf, and I’m still not sure if I am seeing it yet. I had to frog the first attempt as I noticed that the letters were not going to be in the right order to read. So, the first letter is complete, and I am off to get started on the second. I’m excited, and it’s knitting up nicely.

 My neighbors and I are fighting. While this isn’t uncommon, it really sucks since my neighbor is my uncle. He called up and said some hateful things to me for something a cousin said. I was really upset, and hung up the phone and went and started knocking on his door. He didn’t have the nerve to answer. My cousin is fine, and my uncle seems fine, and I’m the only one who’s upset, and of course, I am the only one who got yelled at. I don’t forgive or forget very well. It, also, takes a lot to upset me, but once I get to that point, whatever relationship it is might as well be over. I seriously don’t see how I will be able to communicate with him now. I don’t know how to get over these kind of things. I want to since he is family, but I am used to family not being enough to keep people together. I’m so used to being left that I withdraw even faster.

I wish he had the courage to yell in my face so I could have yelled back. I feel so disappointed in myself for still being so angry.

 Rambling and talking in circles. I’m going to rent a movie and knit.


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August 2006
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